Online dating for neurodiverse people can sometimes be even harder than for non-neurodiverse people due to communication misunderstandings. Neurodiverse people may interpret things differently, which can lead to confusion. However, neurodiverse people have the same right to date and form connections as anyone else—they are worthy of these experiences.
Below are strategies I used when I was online dating. You may find some of these helpful.
• Don’t give out personal or private information to someone you’ve just met. For example, I don’t share my surname, phone number, or other identifying details with someone I’ve only just started messaging.
• Don’t do anything online that you don’t want to do. If you don’t feel comfortable sending photos, emojis, or anything else your date requests, you have the right to say no. You are in control.
• Do move from online dating to in-person dating if that’s what you want. If you feel comfortable meeting in person, choosing a public place such as a café is a good option. Your personal safety is important.
• Do take your time before sending messages. Online communication can be tricky, especially if tone or intent is hard to interpret. It can be difficult to understand what is meant—or what is left unsaid—so giving yourself time can help reduce misunderstandings.
• Do date another neurodiverse person if that feels right for you. Some neurodiverse people connect well with other neurodiverse people, while others may prefer dating someone who is non-neurodiverse. Everyone is different.
• Do report and block someone if they are harassing you or making you feel uncomfortable. It’s okay to change your mind and stop communicating. Setting boundaries and protecting yourself is important—you are worth more than someone who disrespects your time or comfort.
What strategies do you use to date safely online? Do you use any of these strategies?
— Suzanna Poredos
A List Socialite
